Parents often struggle to know how to discipline and teach their children right from wrong without smacking or shouting at them.

Although smacking and other aggressive forms of discipline can stop a problem behaviour at the time, research has shown us that the long term effects are not so positive.  As soon as the threat of physical punishment is removed, children are more likely to revert to the prohibited behaviours. Instead of the child striving to please the parent, the aggrieved and humiliated child is likely to feel resentment, so is more likely to rebel and disobey at the first opportunity.

And, because children generally copy their parents, children who are chastised with violence or shouting are more likely to be violent and aggressive. On top of that, children like attention, the more the better. So all that intense aggressive attention from parents can fill a need in an attention seeking child, and inadvertently encourage the bad behaviour to be repeated.

The other part of the anti-smacking argument is that parents end up feeling… well… bad. Most parents don’t enjoy the feeling of aggressively attacking and bullying their child into submission, particularly afterwards. It tends to leave a bad taste in the mouth. It’s demeaning for both sides, and can seriously affect a child’s self esteem and create emotional problems.  And if a parent uses physical punishment when they are angry, they sometimes hit harder than they meant to. For these reasons, in many places in the world it is actually illegal to smack a child.

But children do need discipline. They need guidance and rules, and clear consequences when those rules are broken. Children without rules and consequences tend to struggle to make sense of the world and find it difficult to internalise positive values from their parents.  They can become pretty painful to be around, both within the family and in the outside world.

I’m about to release  a training program for parents and carers called ‘How to Manage Your 3 to 10 Year Old Child’. It’s made up of 3 hours of interactive downloadable videos, workbooks, course notes, sample charts and certificates, plus a bonus Relaxation DVD to help you become a calmer and more assertive parent. You can watch the videos at any time of day or night to learn effective strategies at your own pace. No need to arrange childcare to attend an expensive course. If you are interested leave your name in the box on the right of the page to qualify for my generous prelaunch discount.

I have plenty of other articles on this site about managing children’s behaviour, so check them out HERE,  or just do a search through the search box.

Enjoy and happy parenting.

Lorri