Tag Archives: dealing with stress

Wrinkles and Floppy Bits: How to Thrive in Old Age

Body falling apart. Pain from head to toe. Wrinkles and floppy bits. Hair not growing where it’s meant to. Memory fading. Energy depleting. Losing life partners, siblings and friends. Loneliness. Financial worries….

It is true that aging can be depressing and stressful at times. However, contrary to what many people think, it is not true that chronic and debilitating anxiety and depression are an inevitable part of old age. While aspects of aging can be distressing, it’s never too late to improve your psychological health and quality of life so that you can get the most out of this precious final [or not so final] chapter of your life.

How to Enjoy Your Old Age

Here are a few simple things you can do to help you find your spark again. [Actually, these strategies work for almost any age group.]

Enjoy the moment. People get depressed and anxious when they ruminate about the past or worry about the future. Try to turn off the trash TV in your head; or at least turn the volume down and position it in a far corner of your mind, so it can waffle on in the background without dominating your life. Then notice or think about things that give you pleasure, even if just in a small way. It might be the taste of your daily tea or coffee; the sound of bird song; the feel of your favourite slippers; or the smell of flowers. nbmbnb

Meditate. It’s taken a while, but mainstream western psychology and medicine have finally acknowledged the benefits of aware relaxation that our eastern cousins have been professing for millennium; that regular mediation tends to positively affect mind and body. Every day find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably, take your shoes off if it’s warm enough, shut your eyes, relax your body, and watch the ebb and flow of your breath, without controlling it. It’s that simple. Of course, most of us find it quite difficult to notice our breath without our mind wandering, but whenever that happens, as soon as you become aware of it, simply bring your attention gently back to relaxing with your breath. It can help your focus to repeat a relaxing or nonsense word or phrase, or count your out-breath to ten, then repeat. Some people find that visualising an image or colour helps too. Guided meditations on CDs or YouTube can be really useful, especially when you are starting out.

Ground yourself. Every day take your shoes off and stand or sit on the ground. Research indicates that grounding our bodies with the earth allows us to balance the energy in our negative ion starved bodies. This is shown to positively affect our physical and mental health. Grass, sand, dirt, concrete, and even tiles on a concrete floor are all good conductors, so they ground well. Wood and ashphalt don’t conduct as well, so are not as effective. Alternatively you could go for a swim, or have a bath or shower. Getting your hands dirty in the garden is another way.

Take action. If you are physically well enough, get out of the house and do something. Lack of action can increase depression and lead to physical unfitness. If you feel too flat and tired to do anything, that is a good sign that you need to do something. As long as it’s not going to harm you physically, light exercise can help you feel great… once you have motivated yourself to start. Make sure you check with your doctor, then, once you get the all clear, join a light exercise class or walking group. Sunshine is also a good mood lifter and is known to be important for physical health.

Move out of your comfort zone. Avoiding doing things that are scary tends to make them even more scary. This can lead to more avoidance and an increasingly restricted life. Break free from the traps that anxiety and fear of embarrassment might have created. Do something a little bit wild and adventurous, and tick a few items off your bucket list. How about going somewhere new, lunching with an old friend, joining a club, learning an instrument, doing a course, or going on a cruise?

Get help. If you are depressed or anxious or both, a good quality therapist can really help. Talk to your doctor about a referral to a free or affordable professional. Community organisations and telephone counselling services can be helpful too.

Exercise your brain. Studies have shown that older people who exercise their brains can think and remember better than their brain lazy counterparts. Damaged brain cells can’t regrow, but they can grow extra connections with use. New connections can enable us to create new thinking pathways. A study of elderly people who were taught computer skills showed that their brains actually increased in size as new connections grew and their brain cells pumped up. So make sure you do some crosswords, sukudo, or puzzles regularly. Start a scrabble or bridge club. Do a maths, writing, computer, photography or other course for fun. Read books. Update your computer skills and surf the net for knowledge. Use it or lose it.

Get creative. The other thing about brains is that it is important to exercise the non-logical side as well as the logical side. This is usually the right half of the brain in right handed people, and it is connected to the left hand side of the body. This side of the brain is where most of our creative thinking resides. Practicing creative activities, such as drawing, painting, pottery, woodcarving, or craft stimulate this side of the brain, again creating new pathways. Try not to be critical, just let go and enjoy the experience. If you really really want to give your left brain a workout, try drawing with your non-dominant hand. Creative pursuits are also known to improve mood and reduce anxiety. Basically, creativity is good for brains.

Do some good deeds. Helping other people can shift us out of our negative headspace and help us to feel that life still has purpose. You could do random acts of kindness for strangers, help a neighbour or loved one, or volunteer for a charity organisation. Becoming a regular volunteer can provide structure to your week, which is an important component for psychological health in retirement.

Laugh and smile. Readers Digest had it right all those years ago: laughter really is the best medicine. Think about funny stories from your past and write them down in a ‘Fun Book’. You could also add amusing experiences from recent times, even a funny thing that happened at the hospital. Share funny stories with friends and family and ask them to share some of theirs. Avoid the news and instead watch one of the many comedy shows on TV. Let go the negative judgement and allow yourself to have a good giggle.

Appreciate your life. Think about how lucky you are to exist in this fantastic experience we call life at this exciting time in history, and how lucky you are to have had the opportunity to enjoy so many decades full of so many experiences. What an amazing perspective you have. What an amazing being you are.

How to Disentangle from Destructive Thoughts

Thoughts, images and feelings are all a normal part of our internal human world, and we wouldn’t want to be without them. They can fuel our creativity, they can drive and motivate us, they can keep us safe, and they can bring us passion, joy and contentment.

But sometimes they can be an absolute pain in the bum. They can haunt us, or annoy us, or demoralise us, or rile us into a frenzy of anger or guilt. They can scare us into a frozen state of avoidance, or bring us down into the depths of depression and apathy.

It’s Not That Easy to Switch Off Negative Thoughts

In the past we psychologists have told our clients that once they have identified the destructive thoughts and images in their heads, they can simply change them to positive ones. Although this idea has merit and works for some people, it is not as easy as it sounds for the majority of us. Failed attempts to block or throw away the negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, have led to frustration and a heightened sense of failure and inadequacy in many of the people who have attempted this method. It is simply very hard to stop a thought, particularly one that you have been replaying for a long time, and if you do manage it, they can often sneak back with a vengeance.

Psychologists are now realising that, rather than trying to disperse unhelpful thoughts, it is fine to just allow them, as long as you don’t get caught up in them; as long as you don’t believe them to be the truth; and as long as you stay mindful of what they really are… just sounds, pictures and feelings.

‘But how do I do that?’ I hear you ask in an exasperated voice.

Eastern Wisdom

Western psychology has recently started to take notice of the ancient teachings of our eastern brothers who have long said that the best way to stop thoughts controlling us is to witness them as just thoughts, and one of the best ways to do that is to practice meditation.

Meditation is both simple and difficult, but you don’t have to be a master of it to begin to feel the benefits. Anyone can learn to meditate. You could learn by going to a meditation class, or by reading a book, or listening to an audio, or even by watching one of the many YouTube videos on the topic.

How to Meditate

All you do is sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed and notice your breath and the sensation in your body as your breath enters and leaves your body. I personally like to focus more on the out-breath, as this is the side of the breath that is most linked with relaxation, but the traditional way is to just notice the breath going in and out without judging or controlling it.

Now, of course, many thoughts and images, memories and plans, and all the accompanying emotional paraphernalia, will invade your mind while you are trying to focus on the simplicity of your breath. But the trick is that you allow them all to come and go, without getting caught up in them. And if, as is inevitable, you do get carried away with a thought about the process, or your work, or relationship, or what to have for dinner, become aware of this little side-trip as soon as you can, and gently bring your attention back to your breath and your body.

Freedom to Choose

The process of witnessing thoughts images and emotions, and allowing them to come and go by bringing ourselves back to our body and breath, allows us to disentangle from them. We are then able to realise that the thoughts are not the essence of who we are: they are just static noise and don’t need to be given attention and power.

That awareness frees us up to be able to make decisions and take actions that our unhelpful thoughts and feelings have stopped us undertaking in the past. We don’t have to stop and block our unhelpful thoughts to reduce their power over us, just recognise them for what they are, and chose whether or not to buy into them.

Lorri Craig

We Think and Feel What We Eat

Food is essential to human life, and it can feel good to eat, but how does what we consume affect our mental and emotional states once we have left the dinner table?

Some Stuff is Bad

Loads of studies have linked diet to mental health. Some studies look at the affect of toxic substances on our emotions. We know, for instance, that caffeine can increase anxiety, and too much sugar can play havoc with our blood sugar levels and that this can affect our mood and energy levels.

Alcohol helps most of us feel relaxed and happy in the moment, but the after effects can include low mood, irritability, and low energy [not to mention that headache]. Many studies have linked artificial food additives to behaviour disorders, such as hyperactivity and aggression, in some children.

Some Stuff is Good

On the other side, it is well known that a lack of certain nutrients can also negatively affect our mental state. A deficiency in some of the B vitamins can lead to restlessness, irritability and insomnia. Lack of folic acid can lead to low mood and low energy, which are the main symptoms of depression.

Low iron levels can also cause tiredness, and can affect our ability to think. Not enough vitamin C can affect the absorption of iron, and has been linked to depression, schizophrenia and dementia.

Many adults have reduced their anxiety levels, improved their mood, and improved their cognitive ability by taking omega 3 supplements, or foods rich in omega 3, such as oily fish and krill. I have known children diagnosed with ADHD who have benefited from omega 3 supplements to the point that they did not need to take prescription drugs.

Orthomol..er..Food Psychiatry

But why does one person benefit from a particular food or supplement, while another does not?

Linus Pauling, founder of Orthomolecular Medicine, believes that, due to variations in our genetic makeup and exposure to toxic substances, different people require different diets for optimum health. Pauling has successfully treated a range of mental disorders through Orthomolecular Psychiatry, including serious mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia and clinical depression. He uses extensive testing to determine what his patients are lacking at a cellular level, then increases or decreases particular nutrients or substances as appropriate.

It would be difficult to test us all so thoroughly at this stage in our technical evolution, but another solution is to reduce the toxins and bad stuff in our diets, and increase our intake of healthy foods.

Super Foods

David (Avocado) Wolfe, health guru and star nutritionist, believes that certain foods, such as raw chocolate and goji berries, have extremely high levels of nutrients that are essential for optimum health and emotional well-being. Wolfe thinks that we should be eating more raw food, because the cooking process damages many nutrients in our food. He’s a great believer in blending raw fruits and superfoods into delicious smoothies. Not such a penance really.

H2O for the Soul

Finally, adequate clean water is essential for optimum mental health. Dehydration can make us feel tired and grumpy, and can affect our ability to think. Whenever I am working therapeutically with clients, I encourage them to drink a glass or two of water during and after treatment. Emotional clearing works the nerve cells and creates chemical debris. Water pumps up the nervous system and clears away debris and toxins, thus assisting the therapeutic process.

So, make sure you are drinking plenty of water, eating plenty of healthy food, including a few superfoods and more raw fruit and vegetables, and reduce your intake of damaging substances, such as alcohol, caffeine, sugar and artificial additives, and you will probably begin to feel and think a whole lot better.

Happy eating

Lorri

TAP FOR HEALTH WEALTH AND HAPPINESS

The Tapping phenomenon is sweeping the world. Meridian Tapping has successfully been used to clear emotional blocks, limiting or dysfunctional beliefs, trauma, physical pain, and even physical illness. It is fast, effective and easy to learn, and it is turning the worlds of psychology and medicine upside down.

WHAT IS TAPPING?

Tapping, is the central technique used in EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique. It involves tapping chinese meridian points [like those used in acupuncture] whilst naming fears and dysfunctional or limiting beliefs.

EFT was developed in the 1990s by Gary Craig [no relation to me as far as I know], and came out of TFT or Thought Field Therapy, which was developed by Roger Callahan. Craig believed in making the procedure simple and user friendly, so that it could be available to more people and so make a larger positive impact on the world. EFT has since been used by psychological therapists and medical practitioners to treat vast numbers of people and conditions. I love it, and use it myself and with my clients to manage emotions, shift old emotional and mental blocks and habits, and as a first aid treatment in a crisis.

WHAT CAN TAPPING BE USED FOR?

Overcome Childhood Traumas
Reduce anxiety
Manage anger
Manage and Eliminate Pain
Release Cravings and Compulsive Eating Habits
Build Thriving and Loving Relationships
Overcome Addictions
Let Go Limiting or Dysfunctional Beliefs, including those about being well
Break Through Blocks to Success

WHERE TO LEARN EFT OR TAPPING

Gary Craig’s website has an easy to follow course for those who are interested in using tapping for their own use, or for incorporating it into their clinical practice. There are many other online and in person courses out there, as well as practitioners. If you want to focus on psychological issues, make sure you find therapist with experience and training beyond EFT.

LEARN TO TAP FOR WEALTH

Success coach, Margaret Lynch, is one of the greats of the tapping world. Margaret uses tapping to help her clients break through emotional blocks to being financially successful. She has produced loads of very easy to follow videos where she demonstrates the technique in a light hearted way. You can use the same technique to clear emotional blocks to anything. One of her latest videos focuses on tapping to let go of sexual blocks.

Here’s the link: TAP FOR WEALTH WITH MARGARET LYNCH.

If you would like to learn more about tapping for psychological blocks, please contact me by email or make a comment in the box below.

Happy tapping.

Cyber-hugs,

Lorri

PANIC ATTACKS REALLY SUCK!

PART 1: WHAT ARE PANIC ATTACKS?

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you’ve probably spent a lot of time and energy since worrying about when and where you are going to have another one. That’s because panic attacks are pretty horrible experiences on so many levels.

Firstly they are incredibly uncomfortable physically. Symptoms vary a bit, but typically they start with a flutter in the belly or heart, ora woozy movement in the stomach, which can make you, the sufferer, feel sick. Then your heart starts racing and thumping wildly in your chest. You start breathing hard and fast, and feel like you are suffocating from lack of air, so you breathe harder. You might have the urge to vomit or go to the toilet. You might feel dizzy, and, if upright, sometimes fall onto the floor [which can hurt]. If the attack continues for a long time, parts of your body might start to feel numb or cramped, and your fingers might even curl up uncontrollably into a claw shape. As I said: incredibly physically uncomfortable.

As well as the physical discomfort, there’s the intense emotional fear that accompanies panic attacks. The sensation can be overwhelming. Many liken the experience to feeling like they are about to die. Majorly scary.

What’s worse is the panic attacks often come out of the blue; with no obvious situation or event triggering them. And sufferers often worry that they might have a serious physical condition, or worse still, a mental illness… that they might be going mad.

Then there’s the social embarrassment. It’s bad enough going through all this, but having people watch while you pant and panic can feel devastating, particularly if you’re exposed in a setting where you might feel judged, such as a workplace, or school, or party, or bus, or restaurant… anywhere in public really.

For all these reasons, people who have suffered a panic attack can get very very anxious about having a similar experience, so they obsess about them, and go out of their way to avoid public situations.

Does this sound familiar? If you have been through this, or if you care about someone who has been through this, know that you are not alone. There are literally millions of people like you who have experienced one or more panic attacks, or who love someone who has experienced a panic attack.

So why do panic attacks happen?

A panic attack is triggered by the primitive part of the brain that, amongst other things, reacts to danger and tells the body to get ready for action. This part of the brain automatically sends chemicals into the blood stream that make the heart beat faster, the lungs work harder and the senses go into red alert.

It’s a survival mechanism in the right context. If, for instance, you were being attacked by a wild animal in the jungle, it would be great to have your senses go into hyper-alert, and have extra oxygen pumped to your muscles, so that you could quickly escape, or so that you could fight back with super strength. This is called the fight or flight response. It looks after us appropriately in those sorts of dangerous situations.

Not so when the fear response is caused by something you can’t run away from or fight, such as a gradual accumulation of stress, or a triggered traumatic memory, or, indeed, fear of having another panic attack. These sorts of situations can trigger the body’s fight or flight response, along with the accompanying heavy breathing and pounding heart. But when there’s nowhere to run and nothing to fight, all that extra pumping and breathing can cause distress and, very importantly, can put the carbon dioxide [CO2] and oxygen [O2] levels out of balance in your blood stream.

That chemical imbalance is what makes you feel dizzy and tingly and breathless. It can cause a tight feeling in the body, and even lead to the clawed fingers mentioned earlier.

PART 2: HOW CAN PANIC ATTACKS BE CONTROLLED?

The irony is that, even though you feel like you don’t have enough oxygen and need to breathe in more, you actually need to breathe in less. Slowing down your breath, taking in less oxygen and breathing out more CO2 will correct the chemical imbalance, and quickly restore your body back to normal. None of the physical symptoms of panic are permanent. The worst that can happen is that, in your body’s attempt to stop you breathing too much [hyperventilating], it might make you become faint and pass out for a second. Your body is then able to take over and slow your breathing.

Slowing down your breath when you are conscious and feel like you’re suffocating is not easy. But with a simple strategy, it can be done.

If you feel a panic attack coming on you should first try to remind yourself what’s actually happening – that you are not going mad, you are not seriously ill, and that it’s not dangerous, so you’re not about to die [as long as you’re not balanced on a tight rope at the time]. Then remind yourself that you have enough oxygen in your body, and you need to get rid of some of the used up air [CO2] from your body to correct the imbalance.

Breathing into a paper bag can help you to reduce your intake of oxygen and correct the balance [so it’s not just a myth]. But, whether or not you have a paper bag handy, there’s a simple counting technique that is really effective.

Breathe in slowly while counting to 2 or 3 or 4 [the number’s not important]; hold it in for a second; then breath out as completely as you can to twice the count of the in-breath [4 or 6 or 8]; then hold it out for a second or two, and repeat the process. The idea is that you slow down the rate of your breathing, breathe out for twice as long as you breathe in, and think about counting, rather than focusing on how uncomfortable and scary your experience is. This corrects the O2 CO2 balance and focussing on breathing out completely tricks your brain into thinking that the danger is past; like when you ‘Phew’ with relief.

If you are with someone who is having a panic attack the best thing you can do to help them is stay calm and supportive. Then, without lecturing or patronising, let them know that they are having a panic attack and that it’s not dangerous. Let them know that, contrary to their instinct, they need to breathe in less, and breathe out more. Then help them breathe to a 1:2 in:out ratio. If you can easily find a paper bag for them to breathe into, that would help, but it’s not crucial, and you should be careful of paper printed with toxic ink.

So that’s it. If you are a sufferer, it’s not a bad idea to have a practice session with a support person. Do a bit of panting to bring the first symptoms on, then practice the breath count. In my experience, once a panic attack suffer is confident that he or she can control an attack, their confidence increase significantly and they are able to begin getting back to a normal life.

Remember, tell yourself you are going to be fine, and count your breath, keeping the outbreath twice as long as the in, and you’ll be on your way to freedom from panic.

Lorri Craig, Psychologist

For more information about treating anxiety and panic attacks without drugs go to:

http://www.AnxietyTreatmentWithoutDrugs.com

Lorri Craig Psychologist

Psychology Through the Internet